Aerys Targaryen for President: My Thoughts on the Election

So against Donald Trump, I’d dig up my building’s septic tank and vote for my own turds before that monster. I don’t like Goldman-Sa, er, sorry, Time Warn- damn, I mean Clinton (Sorry, I tend to blur things together when they only difference is semantic) but not as badly as I hate Trump. Oh sure, she can give a completely hollow speech about income inequality wearing a jacket more valuable than the total money I will ever own in my life or send Bill to polling places or claim to she’ll be tough on the banks that paid for her campaign, but that hypocrisy and rulebreaking is nothing compared to “Muslims should be tracked in a database and monitored” or “Mexicans are rapists.”

This election cycle has basically proven every negative stereotype of both parties true – big-corporation limousine liberals who are out of touch with the common people using their money and influence to flood the social consciousness with their image or shift debates to times that help them (Clinton and CNN are both at least partly owned by Time Warner, for example, so CNN had a good reason not to cover Sanders unless they absolutely had to therefore keeping him out of the running for people who still use obsolete means of getting news like TV) and racist, sexist Republican fascists. Seriously, look up what either side says about the other. Both candidates are basically a caricature of what the other side believes.

I hate both candidates. A lot. Along with all currently active politicians at this point. I hated Sanders the least but never thought he could win. No outcome of this election is good for poor people. I will always have student debt, I exist to be a profit center for people who piss away my entire life’s worth in an hour of boat-cocaine-hooker parties. Clinton may represent that more than Trump thanks to her banking, hedge fund and big corporate connections, which is why a good deal of Sanders supporters were vocally against Clinton even more than being against Trump. I acknowledge that because facts aren’t there to make me happy.

Another thing that doesn’t make me happy is a schoolyard bully like Trump will plow right over Clinton, because while facts aren’t there to make me happy in Trumpland they may as well not exist. “Oh those e-mails! Benghazi! $12k Armani jacket at a speech about income inequality by someone whose campaign is funded by those same billionaires that stand to gain by preserving income inequality! Superdelegates! Big business ties! Political dynasties! The banks that murdered your future then got bailed out on your money support her!” Against someone less awful than Trump there’s a laundry list of reasons, legitimate and otherwise, to not vote Clinton. A laundry list Trump and the GOP can and will use to get swing voters and angry progressives who are sick of limousine liberals to vote Trump just to not be voting for Clinton. Also, unlike in the primaries where Sanders had no chance and the media had no reason to allow him any real screentime in order to make sure Clinton got the most attention the media isn’t going to be 100% on her side. She’ll have an actual fight instead of a walk this time and, like against Obama, I don’t think she’s got it in her to win. Basically, I assume Donald Trump is already the victor.

I’ll vote either for Clinton or for Ron White (because an alcoholic, pothead, womanizing comedian is atually a legitimately better choice than both main party monsters) when the time comes. My state is single-color enough my individual vote doesn’t matter so I might be able to save my conscience by doing that. Or maybe I’ll write in “my literal feces.” Because that’s also better than them or any other active politician.

But like I’ve been saying on Twitter because it’s better to laugh than cry: “Aerys Targaryen for President, #BurnThemAll2016.” As a poor guy I’m fucked either way, so the only reason I care is because not all my friends are straight white Christian cis males and I’d like for their lives to NOT suck, please, which means a hard no on Donald Trump.

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Aerys Targaryen for President: My Thoughts on the Election

One thought on “Aerys Targaryen for President: My Thoughts on the Election

  1. James Macdougall says:

    Great read. Probably first time someone really nailed it. Matt tahibi’s recent rolling stone article was also worth a look

    Like

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