RTX 2016

Holy fucking shit, they done good this year.

Okay, there’s a lot to break down here so I’m just going to start by reiterating that this is easily the best one of these yet. In fact between all the cons I have been to (jumping between PAX East and RTX) this is the best one I’ve been to.

So let’s start with a bit of a recap.

I live in Austin now, so it was a little strange for me to not have a “hard start” of when I land in Austin. Loosely I would say that the overall collection of meetups, sub-events and get-togethers that comprise RTX began on Monday or Tuesday when people started filtering in. They started off light at first, just a few beers with friends, and then things picked WAY up on the Thursday.

So to start off on the Thursday I went on the RvBooze Cruise (or RvBoat, RT Booze Cruise, however people call it). That is always fun, sitting around and catching up with friends on a boat full of alcohol. Naturally, I was fairly sauced by the time we docked and went almost directly to the RT SideQuest charity auction. Maybe not the best decision and while I was, in my opinion, way more drunk than I should have been according to everyone I spoke to after I was still nice even if I was a bit of a close-talker and made a few too many cocaine jokes. So sorry if I was a close-talker at you (or if hard drug humor is darker than you prefer). Then I fell asleep in front of the Iron Works for a few hours and got a cab home.

The first day of RTX proper was much more low-key. I went to a few panels but mostly wandered the expo hall floor getting oriented and seeing who I could run into. While it was definitely fun it was relatively uneventful so there’s not a whole lot to recap on a story level.

But damn, son, Saturday was, as the kids say, “lit.”

So I woke up at 5:45 AM in order to go to the Buff Buddies morning workout, which was a lot of fun. Then I went to Million Dollars But, and from there I went to On The Spot. Which was an experience and a half. From there I was given some moonshine by a very generous man and went to BarLympics, another SideQuest event. Where I fulfilled my Tyrion-esque duty for Team Grif: I drink and I know things. Between everything I had to drink and being a viciously dark-humored person playing quiplash I definitely contributed to winning the BarLympics overall, but the rest of the team definitely brought their A-Game. And really, as long as you’re drunk you won BarLympics on some level.

From there I went to the rave and drank that first bottle of moonshine almost on my own. While already fairly drunk. Um. So apparently you fill me with moonshine and electronic music and I lose my goddamn mind, but fucking hell was it fun. By the time I got home, let the adrenaline wear off and went to sleep it was, again, 5:45AM. A full 24 hour day.

So after two more hours of sleep I went to the convention center again and stopped in at the Free Play panel, which was very touching, before stopping in at an impromptu Day 5 cast meetup. After a bit more wandering the expo hall floor I got in line for Off Topic.

They seated us very quickly so I took a quick nap and when I woke up they were playing punk songs over the speakers, starting with Self Esteem by the Offspring. I sang along with that a little bit, but then for the next song I felt that something sounded a little odd about the lyrics. Then for the next song I realized more and more people were starting to sing along with the songs, until nearly the entire theater of 4,000 people were singing along to punk songs.

Then Off Topic happened. And holy shit, it was an event. Watch it as soon as it comes out, because it’s easily the best one they’ve ever done and I don’t want to spoil it.

But from there I went to a little hotel room get-together where we played Super Fight and drank more moonshine and, from there, I went to the SideQuest farewell party. I left when the bar started kicking people out, the end of the end of RTX 2016.

So to all my friends who were there, both from Austin and from around the world, thank you. To those of you I only saw in passing or missed entirely, I’m sorry. To the Guardians and RTX team, thank you so much for making this weekend one of the best I’ve ever had. Love you all, let’s do it again next July!

RTX 2016

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