I have here multiple political posts from my Facebook. I hope it’s all I ever have to say between now and the election:
As I’ve mentioned, Trump is not your only option. Please, if you can’t vote Clinton, consider voting Johnson to tell the Republican party open racism and sexism shouldn’t be the primary Republican platform. In addition, Johnson has, to my knowledge, never bankrupted a company through mismanagement where Trump has done that four times. Johnson has experience as a governor where Trump has never held any political office. If you want to vote an actual, competent conservative then voting for Trump, an idiot trash fire of a human being, is the last thing you should do even if you aren’t moved by empathy for literally anyone who isn’t a straight, white, Christian man (because make no mistake Trump will make their lives objectively worse). Do the right thing and stop Donald Trump. No matter who you are or what your politics are it is the best thing you could do for not only yourself but for everyone else.
Okay, I sincerely hope that’s the last time I feel the need to talk politics for a while. I think I’ve honestly covered everything, if you’re still going to vote Trump even knowing there’s a better conservative out there then I straight don’t know what to do for you.
Ah crap one more thing. Two more, actually. In case you think I’m being unfair, the second one is for liberals so sit tight.
First, to conservative friends and family who haven’t been swayed from Trump to Johnson, I hate to break it to you but you’ve been had. Lied to. Er, more than is normal for a politician. Those things Trump is telling you that you shpuld be scared of to terrify you into voting for him? Lies. I know you are smart, decent people. If you weren’t I wouldn’t talk to you. So pour a stiff drink or some nice tea, get on Google (because I know you have Google if you can read this) and look up facts. Hard facts. I’ll even give you some quick ones now: there are billions of Muslims. If Islam, as a religion, wanted America to fall it would have done already. Black people are not plotting to kill you. And, speaking as a white janitor in Texas, your jobs aren’t under direct threat from Mexican immigrants. That’s just for starters. So keep going down that rabbit hole and free yourself from irrational fear. I’m confident enough in you as a person that, once you know the facts, you won’t let Trump keep hoodwinking you.
And now for liberals. Specifically holdover Sanders supporters who plan on either writing in his name or spitevoting or simply not voting because Clinton isn’t exactly 100% what they want. Welcome to politics, apparently this is your first rodeo. Here’s lesson one: politicians lie and cheat all the time. It’s part of their job. Deal with it, because if Trump wins I’m holding you responsible. That’s right. Every time one of my Hispanic friends down here is harassed, every time my gay friends are threatened I will give you an equal share of the blame. So fold up your tinfoil hats, get your heads out of your asses and your dicks out of your hands and fucking deal with the fact that for all your blind, straight white whining about Clinton being a perfectly average politician everyone who doesn’t look like us will get way worse than the business as usual you have the gall to say you’re “scared” of if your masturbatory self-righteousness let’s Tump win.
Fucking hell, I hate politics. Someone get me a cat picture and my moonshine.
Crap, two more things then I swear I’m done.
One, if you want Trump because he’s a TV celebrity with no political experience try looking into Ron White. Seriously, unless his appeal for you is “he’s a racist, sexist, incompetent liar” then I guarantee you there’s someone you’d like more on the ticket.
Second, I’m not asking anyone to trust Clinton or Johnson. I’m not even asking anyone to trust the facts (you’ll never hear me say that again). All I ask is, please, trust me.